Cyber Flirt: Six dos and don't of email courtship. -

Cyber Flirt: Six dos and don't of email courtship

The art of making a good first impression on a man/woman has changed considerably with the advent of online dating. Using this medium, it's not necessary to check if there are typos in your profile. And how can you tell if a guy/gal who sounds great on 'paper' is the real thing? Most importantly, once you and a cyber beau initially -- pardon the pun -- click, how can you gracefully move it offline? Here are the dos and don't of the email courtship:

1. May I have this dance?

Feel free to inittiate contact with a potential Mr. Wonderful. As in real life, male online daters commonly make the first move, so a note from an attractive woman like you will be highlight of his day. Keep it short but include something that shows you relate to particulars in his ad: " I was drawn to your love of swing dancing." He wants to feel singled out, not recieve a response that could be sent to every man on the site.

2. Cap-ital offences.

Your momlikely told you it's rude to shout, but she didn't forewarn you that USING CAPS IN YOUR EMAILS is the same as yelling. "Obviously looks are important and you should expect the other person will want a photo. But when the first thing a respondent asks is, 'Do you have a picture?' -- often when he hasn't posted one! -- my radar is up." Hodgson also cities emoticon offenders. She sniffs, " I can't take anyone seriously who is constantly doing LOL or smiley-facing or even writing shorthand. People should'nt be so casual in emails.

3. Just say no

Women typically get swapped in emails, so they let slide the ones from men that don't intrest them. While not a cardinal offense, it's a little cruel to keep him hanging. Send an acknowledgement along the lines of, "I'm complimented that such a great guy wants to know me a little better. Unfortunately i don't see us as compatiable. But thank you so much for writing and best of luck."

4. Keep it light.

Emily Cavlo explains, "I am not advocating lying. It's important to tell the truth." The author of 25 Words or Less: How to Write Like a pro to Meet That Special Someone through Personal Ads quickly adds, "However; don't tell too much too soon. A little mystery is better than a lenthy soap opera detailing all that analysis has taught you." Give the essentials with a possitive spin. For example, it's important for him to know you're a single mother. But don't complain about your stresses. Instead, share that while you love your kids, it's time for you to develop a personal life.
At this early age it's also important to share knowledge that might quickly uncover a major incompatibility. Say he's allergic to animals and you have two kittens. Better to iron out potential roadblocks sooner than later.

5. From computer to coffee house.

Resist the temptation to get caught up in an online love affair where each of you writes increasingly lengthy and intimate life histories. It's immposible to discover wheather you're suited untill you're sharing oxygen. How many emails should it take before you get together? One expert Patti Feinstein says, "Emailing back and forth for a month never works. Once a mutual agreement is made that there is intrest, it's best to meet in a public place as soon as possible."

6. Post-date email.

Scenario 1: If you like the guy and don't hear from him within a few days, it's fine to shoot off a quick email: "Thanks for the drink and the fun company. I really enjoyed meeting you." He'll either contact you for a date or not. If it's "or not" cut your losses and move on.
Scenario 2: You don't like the guy and he keeps bugging you for a return engagement. Just send a quick note: "While I truly enjoyed meeting you, I just didn't feel we were compatible enough to pursue a relationship. But I wish you all the best."

- By vinyas. courtesy BT.

back